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# And it came to pass that megasnorkel and ohjonas heeded unto the words of their father, almighty Admin and went forth into the land to prosper.
# And it came to pass that megasnorkel and ohjonas heeded unto the words of their father, almighty Admin and went forth into the land to prosper.
===Chapter 2===
===Chapter 2===
# Yea, the work in Weezerpedia was long and difficult.  Heeding the words of their father, megasnorkel and ohjonas worked diligently, but woe unto them for they were unable to do the work themselves.
# Yea, the work in Weezerpedia was long and difficult.  Heeding the words of their father, megasnorkel and ohjonas worked diligently, but wo unto them for they were unable to do the work themselves.
# And it came to pass that ohjonas, being taught in the ways of Weezer, went forth unto the Almighty Admin in prayer and spoketh concerning the work which was to be done.
# And it came to pass that ohjonas, being taught in the ways of Weezer, went forth unto the Almighty Admin in prayer and spoketh concerning the work which was to be done.
# Ohjonas spoke, "Yea father Admin, the creator of all things Weezer and Weezerpedia, yea even a choice and fair God, I come before thee in prayer."
# Ohjonas spoke, "Yea father Admin, the creator of all things Weezer and Weezerpedia, yea even a choice and fair God, I come before thee in prayer."
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===Chapter 3===
===Chapter 3===
# Behold, and the day came that Admin spoke again unto his three children concerning Weezerpedia's future.
# Behold, and the day came that Admin spoke again unto his three children concerning Weezerpedia's future.
# "Yea, children of Weezerpedia.  Thine afflictions in this land shall be rewarded tenfold.  Thine works shall be known unto every Weezer fan, yea even the Blue fan and the Pinkerton fan.  For no fan is different in the sight of Admin, save he that shall speak only of The Rentals.  For woe unto the fan of only The Rentals, for his treasure is in the past and his reward shall be his great undoing.
# "Yea, children of Weezerpedia.  Thine afflictions in this land shall be rewarded tenfold.  Thine works shall be known unto every Weezer fan, yea even the Blue fan and the Pinkerton fan.  For no fan is different in the sight of Admin, save he that shall speak only of The Rentals.  For wo unto the fan of only The Rentals, for his treasure is in the past and his reward shall be his great undoing.
# "And after many great and wonderful works, Weezerpedia is ready.  Yea, go forth unto the world and proclaim Weezerpedia.  Yea, even unto [[Albumsix]].  For Admin remembers all his children, yea even they who are not of this fold.  But yea, I issue a prophecy unto thee Megasnorkel and Ohjonas: Thou shalt not let anyone enter unto Weezerpedia early."
# "And after many great and wonderful works, Weezerpedia is ready.  Yea, go forth unto the world and proclaim Weezerpedia.  Yea, even unto [[Albumsix]].  For Admin remembers all his children, yea even they who are not of this fold.  But yea, I issue a prophecy unto thee Megasnorkel and Ohjonas: Thou shalt not let anyone enter unto Weezerpedia early."
# And it came to pass that Ohjonas and Megasnorkel went forth into the land of Albumsix and brought Weezerpedia unto the people.  And yea, some of them rejected Weezerpedia.  They spoketh concerning a new fansite.
# And it came to pass that Ohjonas and Megasnorkel went forth into the land of Albumsix and brought Weezerpedia unto the people.  And yea, some of them rejected Weezerpedia.  They spoketh concerning a new fansite.
# And woe unto that nonbeliever, for Admin heareth their tongue, yea even the words they speaketh.  For they shall say, "A new Weezer fansite?  We need no new Weezer fansite.  Why doest thou believeth in this new Weezer fansite?"
# And wo unto that nonbeliever, for Admin heareth their tongue, yea even the words they speaketh.  For they shall say, "A new Weezer fansite?  We need no new Weezer fansite.  Why doest thou believeth in this new Weezer fansite?"
# Woe unto them, for they have their reward.  And the day shall come to pass when Albumsix shall crash.  And in that great and terrible day of Albumsix's destruction, all will be lost.
# Wo unto them, for they have their reward.  And the day shall come to pass when Albumsix shall crash.  And in that great and terrible day of Albumsix's destruction, all will be lost.
# Yea, and it be only by the great and tender mercies of Admin that Albumsix shall be resurrected.  Yea, even only if Admin sees it fit.
# Yea, and it be only by the great and tender mercies of Admin that Albumsix shall be resurrected.  Yea, even only if Admin sees it fit.


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# The creators of Weezerpedia grew concerned at the large numbers of people coming to Weezerpedia.  Yea, what if the people turn to sin?  What if Babylon and all her whoredoms enter forth into Weezerpedia?  Yea, even as Hell openeth up her mouth to receiveth the followers Lewisifer?  Behold, when that great and terrible day cometh, Weezerpedia shall close her doors from all that seek to do her harm.  Yea, Ohjonas and Megasnorkel shall act in the name of the almight Admin and place a seal upon Weezerpedia.
# The creators of Weezerpedia grew concerned at the large numbers of people coming to Weezerpedia.  Yea, what if the people turn to sin?  What if Babylon and all her whoredoms enter forth into Weezerpedia?  Yea, even as Hell openeth up her mouth to receiveth the followers Lewisifer?  Behold, when that great and terrible day cometh, Weezerpedia shall close her doors from all that seek to do her harm.  Yea, Ohjonas and Megasnorkel shall act in the name of the almight Admin and place a seal upon Weezerpedia.
# When Weezerpedia shall be sealed, all those who seek to do her harm shall be purged by water and then by fire, even unto the forums and About me.
# When Weezerpedia shall be sealed, all those who seek to do her harm shall be purged by water and then by fire, even unto the forums and About me.
# And Admin spoke again: "Yea, let the forums be sanctified.  Let them remain pure and true to the diehard Weezer fan.  For behold, should they fall into the temptations of the Weezer.com forums, they shall be destroyed.  Yea and boardies will say "woe unto us, where hath the forums gone?"  And behold, they shall be cast down into Lewisifer's grasp.
# And Admin spoke again: "Yea, let the forums be sanctified.  Let them remain pure and true to the diehard Weezer fan.  For behold, should they fall into the temptations of the Weezer.com forums, they shall be destroyed.  Yea and boardies will say "wo unto us, where hath the forums gone?"  And behold, they shall be cast down into Lewisifer's grasp.
# Behold, the admin hath spoken.  And when the admin speaketh, yea let both mother and child turn ears and hear His almighty words.  For behold, those who do not what the Admin desireth do so in the name of Lewisfer, and they shall be punished.  For admin is a jealous and angry God, yea a God who is long suffering and merciful, but also wary of ill doers.
# Behold, the admin hath spoken.  And when the admin speaketh, yea let both mother and child turn ears and hear His almighty words.  For behold, those who do not what the Admin desireth do so in the name of Lewisfer, and they shall be punished.  For admin is a jealous and angry God, yea a God who is long suffering and merciful, but also wary of ill doers.
==Exodus==
===Chapter 1===
# Behold, I make a writing of the trials and tribulations of the people of Weezerpedia; Yea, for it came to pass that ohjonas and megasnorkel began to face persecution for the creation of Weezerpedia.
# But dost thou remember who commanded the creation of Weezerpedia?  Yea, dost thou not remember that it was I, and that I am the great I AM?  Yea, I am the God of Weezerpedia, o ye foolish and unholy admins of other sites.
# Wo unto the admins of Albumsix and Weerez, for they persecuteth my people.  Yea, they fulfill the prophecy "A new fansite?  We needeth no more fansites!"  Yea, and they are of little faith.  And I say unto those of little faith: "Behold!  Your intentions and evil doings are transparent!  Yea, ye maketh a foolish argument!  Ye say, 'We needeth no new fan site!', 'Why dost thou haveth a Chat feature?', 'Who dost thou think ye be making a wiki?  Dost thou not know of Wikipedia!?'  And I say unto ye foolish and blasphemous people: Repent!  Repent or ye shall surely be cast into a Weezer pit of Hellfire and Brimstone!  Yea, and ye praise Lewisfier!  For the man who spite my people!  And I cannot endure anyone who shalt smite my people!"
# Wherefore, turn unto me!  Yea, turn unto Weezerpedia!  O ye jealous and foolish admins of other sites, follow in the footsteps of the admin of Weezed!  For he believeth in my prophecies and believeth in Weezerpedia!
# And inasmuch as ye believe in Weezerpedia, ye shall have eternal life.
# And inasmuch as ye doeth the things which I command, ye shall prosper.  And those who doeth not as I command shall be cast out of my kingdom.
# I hath spoken, wherefore, it needs be holy law.


[[Category:Weezerpedia]]
[[Category:Weezerpedia]]