Thomas Garglechunk: Difference between revisions

In [[Pre-1991|1875]], allegations of Garglechunk's sexual misconduct came to light after a local Pasadena farmer reported that many of their farm animals had been inappropriately touched at a Spindles concert. Garglechunk was found guilty by a jury of his peers (which included [[Pat Finn]]), and was sentenced to 80 years of light hazing from coworkers and friends. It was due to this that he was forced to leave the band by Weatherbottom, but only after releasing a final album, ''[[Thomas Garglechunk is fired from the band]]''. Reportedly, the name of the album was unrelated to any real events, and was chosen years in advance.

===Solo work===

In the year of our lord [[Pre-1991|1953]], Garglechunk released a solo album dubbed ''[[Garglechunk (album)|Garghlechunk]]''. The album has been called "worse than anything Captain Beefheart has ever made" by the Associated Press, who then vowed to destroy every copy in existence.<ref>Associated Press. (1953, November 6). ''"Garglechunk"; The Incoherent Belting of Defamed ex-Ozma Side Act Percussionist''. New York Times.</ref> If you still have a release, it is recommended you destroy it as well.

===Personal life===

Garglechunk has stated on multiple occasions that he is immortal. He prefers not to talk about it and will awkwardly dodge it if you bring it up, instead consistently changing the conversation topic to something relating to the {{Wiki2|1913_Indianapolis_500|1913 Indianapolis 500}}.